Acceptance

I've realized lately that this is one thing I struggle with. But I've also realized one thing....I cannot expect anyone else to accept me if I can't accept myself. If I'm not happy and secure in who I am then how can I expect anyone else to be happy with who I am and to love me for who I am?

I admit I have never quite fit in. I've always been the odd one out. The loner, the geek, the outsider...whatever you want to call. Sometimes I don't even feel like I fit in with own family. People either love me or they hate me....there seems to be no inbetween. I joke I'm an aquired taste. I don't know maybe its my odd sense of humor or my very strong introverted personality. If I know you well enough and you hit me on a good day and with the right subject...I'll talk your ears off.....otherwise not so much. On a really bad day you might get the leave me the hell alone look.

I've never been happy and secure in who I am. I've always tried to change to please the people around me. Changing my hair, my clothes, my look to whatever the people around me considered cool. Acting like the "cool people" etc. Honestly I have no interest in most pop culture...just to get it straight I read the hunger games way before it was so popular...same with harry potter. I watched NCIS when I didn't know anyone else who did. You get the picture.

But I'm not cool. I'm not. I know it. I'm a lot geeky. A lot awkard. My sense of humor is very odd. My interests are rather unique. I'd rather spend time with my animals than most people. I dress very...interestingly. My favorite hat looks like a sock monkey. And yes I have (several) mental illnesses that effect me more some days than others...the depression is better but I will always battle it. That adds to my uniqueness. I'm 28 and single and have no desire to have kids.

See....I'm odd. But I'm me. And I'm determined to love me and all my oddness. I'd be no fun if I was just like everyone else. If the world was made up of clones...it wouldn't be a very interesting place. I just wish we could all be more accepting of eachother and our differences. We can different and still accept eachother and like eachother and be nice to eachother. Heck we don't have to be friends with everyone but theres no harm is being nice to the people you come across and accepting them...differences and all. No matter their race, gender, sexual orientation, disability, whether their mentally ill, their political views, religion etc....we're all people and we all deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. And the world would be a better place and perhaps there would even be less violence if there was more acceptance...if less people felt like loners....felt like they never belong anywhere

So not only am I going to love myself and my oddness and accept myself....I'm going to extend that to rest of the world. To treat others with kindness and respect regardless of who they are. A simple hello to stranger, a smile, a conversation. To make someone else feel less alone. Because I know how it feels to feel alone and like you don't belong.